Tainted Wisdom

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with people today. They keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Or should I say fatter, and fatter, and fatter? I can’t even go shopping at Target without finding some lady’s fat ass blocking the aisle so I have to go back the way I came. I’m talking about asses the size of the shopping carts they are pushing along! So many of our women bear the lumbering mass of NFL linemen today. What’s the problem? I know what it is. And Dr. Phil psychology, diet products, and the propaganda that being a fat bastard is a medical problem is only the part that eats us up after we eat it all up. Long story short, our cannibalistic society profits from giving us problems we can’t solve and then charges us to fix them. Put the McDonald’s neon on every corner, make it easy to just drive up in our cars for a salty, sugar spiced treat, serve it up hot in a wrapper, and if this is not enough, make sure the fucking clown is on TV to remind us we need french fries.

So, without going into an analysis of how we became fat and how the corporate giants profit from both keeping us fat and charging us for remedies that fail, here is the Most Effective Diet, step by step:

1. Decide how much weight you want to lose.
2. Stand on the scale.
3. Eat less and exercise more.
4. Stand on the scale.
5. If you don’t lose weight, eat less again and exercise even more.
6. Get to your goal weight and stay there. Keep the routine that got you there.

Look. Skip the bullshit psychology that says you can’t do it for this or that reason. You have free will. You don’t need a fucking psychologist to help you figure out how your parents made you fat. It isn’t a medical problem. Hell, even if you’ve been told it is your thyroid that gives you a big ass, I’m pretty sure you’ll still lose weight if you burn off less than you eat. Burn more calories than you consume, and how is it possible not to shed the fat? You got me.

Well, I’ll add to what I’ve said above by telling you how I keep reasonably trim. I eat once a day and make sure I include a lot of lean protein, fruit, and vegetables in it. The five small meals per day thing is bullshit. Eating once per day is not bad for your health. I might talk about this later.